Friday, 30 January 2009

you ask.

Pretty pointless I'd say.. Lol. Plain and random.

My mom's pretty cultural. So, she said,"we're not going to celebrate Chinese New Year this year, no stepping into other people's house and no wearing red and yellows...". All for about 100 days coz according to mom, we're still very the "Hau".

There goes my new bajus for Tahun Baru Cina. =/ A red t-shirt, and a brown//blue checkered blouse. Yes, brown coz in the Hokkien "colour-bar", brown is considered as red and apparently, worse than red O.O So.. this means brown's the reddest red for us Hokkien ppl O.O I wonder why they did not differenciate it to brown. How is brown red? They're so different! -.-

I have also not been going to anyone's house for the whole week holiday. Sien. Pretty sien. Just went out with Daniel on.. last Thursday and dinner with some high school friends on the same night. That was the day when I bought the brown//blue checkered blouse. ;/ So now I have to wait for 100 days to pass to get to wear that thing? -.-;; Abit silly to buy something and keep it for 100 days before wearing it. However, unconciously, I have been wearing a checkered shorts for a few days already. Lol. I just realised it yesterday.

Also pretty sien coz I don't get any red packets today. !@#$%^&*() Damn great. When economy crisis did not affect me, the culture did.. financially. x.x There goes the ang pows when I need more money. wtf. Doesn't make sense. Why do things never happen to you when you want them to so badly but they happens when you least expected them to. Suprise, suprise, huh? To make your life more interesting? I see.. -____- I don't need suprises. I need them to happen when I need them to happen. I'm hoping for "money come, money come!" right now.

Do what does my late grandpa's descendents do when they are forbid from this, this, and that? They stay among each other and visit each other, wtf. Haha. So yesterday, they decided to spend the night at my house. It was "yan san, yan hoi" @ my house yesterday. Rare incident indeed for this time of the year. Oh, have I mentioned I have shit loads of relatives that I don't even know existed and is close with? It is probably because both me and my brother's English educated while most of them are Chinese educated. Also, it doesn't help that my dad did not help us master the Hokkien language. x.x We all speak Cantonese at home. That's my mother's language.. *sigh* I can't help it that I'm hokkien but I can't really speak hokkien, ok? Don't ever say,"and you call yourself a Hokkien" to me wtf. I did not choose not to learn. I wasn't trained nor taught. Wtf. So shut up. =/ Anyway, here comes the climax. So pay attention. As usual, I would be walking here and there, poking my nose in here and there, taking the role of a side spectator instead of joining in. Then as I was walking past my main entrance door, a younger cousin holler to me,"Ah..pin ko. Pong ngo hoi mun dak mou?" -_____-;;; Swt kao kao. A jie jie would have sounds so much better, don't you agree? Wtf. Macam strangers although a family.

Macam itu la my Chinese New Year. Like kutu rayau at home. Walk here and there, watch Tv, go online, sleep and hope some one would SPEND TIME WITH ME outside of the hse but too bad they can't MAKE IT. Blek. Rot rot rot.. restaurants and cafes also not open during the week. Kesian. Wanna fill my tummy also cannot. Aih..

Did some photoshop but looks ugly to me -.- So am thinking whether to post or not. Nothing ineteresting though. Just personal photos for own reference.

Oh, right, I still have Puipo here to entertain me a little. (; She's getting cuter and cuter day by day. Got damn alot of attitude and very active. Shielded her from the knowledge of my family members for about 2 months now. Haha.. but was exposed to my brother yesterday when I told him to stop the dl as he wants to play an online game and I forgot I left Puipo under my table. It must be God's decision coz Puipo was happily rolling on her wheel and making tonnes of noise to attract my brother's attention -.-; Haih. Lol.

So, hopefully, will be going to a few shopping malls and spending my day in Kl tomorrow. If not, I'll be showing my black face on Monday in uni. Wtf.

Forsakengel.

Monday, 26 January 2009






Forsakengel.

Sunday, 25 January 2009

During the study break last year, I totally overturned my hairstyle and most of the people around me was extremely shock about my decision. -.-;; Can't really blame their reaction cause since my hair lenght started to become long, I have never cut them short or anywhere near above my shoulder. So, yea..

What the "hairstylist" did was...
he tied up my hair into and ponytail with those cheap rubber band used to hold ur nasi bungkus together when u buy Chap Fan. Then, he just simply take some gunting and simply cut them off at the point above the rubber band. At that point, I could feel a chill running down my spine and I almost shudder. I felt annoyed because I do not like him doing that. It's like just simply tie up your hair and cincai cut it off roughly. That kind of treatment definately felt disgusting.

Then he placed it right infront of me and asked me,"do you wanna bring it back for memory's sake?". What kinda effing question is that? Damn wai//disgusting. Yea, I actually felt disgusted with that thing on the table. x.x Damn wat dat. Damn wat dat. More over, it's within the scope of my view.. until my hair's done. -_______-;;





Den he keep asking me to dye and he told me there's not gonna be GREEN but I found out that there's GREEN at the root of my hair when I got back! Omg. Lala-fied. x.x To increase the seafood-ness, the Lala assistant gave my new hair cut a Lala look. W.t.f. Great day to be visiting Timesquare and Sg. Wang on that day. CAn blend in. Wtf.

But I like the cut though. Not the dye.

Mom almost nagged my head off. There's no mistake, it nagged not scolded. See how powerful her nagging is? For 2-3 weeks. Anyway, it was expected. Haha..

I've wanted to have a short haircut since last year but she would always object and say things like,"why don't you go shave it bold instead? Zero maintainance". She always like me to look more feminine. She likes to see me with long hair and dresses and skirts but unfortunately, those are not my favourite. x.x So I took the opportunity to realise my 1-yr old wish when she was not there. Wah.. cheh.. so dramatic. Lol.

It's about a month or more since I went to the saloon. I think it looks better now? O.O Still, sometimes I would feel like I wanna grow it back but on other times, I'd like to keep it.

Everyone was asking why I took the drastic move. It wasn't drastic. They would comment that I should take it step by step instead of a leap as in cutting it into mid range and then shorter instead of just from really long to boy cut. It wasn't a boyish boy cut.. it was a feminine boy cut.. but still, mom doesn't like it =( Don't care la.. I like it. Wtf..

But it looks ugly without oil on it. Macam 'sung mou gau'. Get what I mean?

There you go. The very long tale of my haircut, wtf.

-

And last week, the day before my third paper, I recieved a message from my mom early in the morning stating that my parents are on their way to the Putrajaya Hospital where my grandfather was admitted on the day before. I was kind of shocked to recieve this message from her as my grandfather was not having any severe sickness.

Later on the afternoon, my mom called again and asked me if I'd like to go back to my hometown and see my grandfather for the last time. However, I could not make it there before his last breath ;'( I recieved a call from my mom announcing his departure before I could even pay the 2nd tol on Silk Highway. I got emo, cried and got over it before I reach home to continue studying. Ya, still have to study, unless I opt to sit for the exam in August which I don't think I'd want to do.

I later found out that grandpa was already not concious when he was drove back. So I don't feel so bad now =/ However, I got a little upset about the whole incident because apparently, he had a chance to live. He was only unconcious, had a lung infection, and need a machine to support his breathing system at that moment. You would agree with me that they sound nothing too severe. I shall not elaborate more on this matter as this is a sensitive private family matter.

The day I went back to my hometown to join my huge extended family members for the prayers, I thought I have gotten over my feelings but it was proven wrong when I looked at him, lying there in the coffin. He looks nothing near like in a bad shape. He looks perfectly normal like a person who is alive and he looks really good with his cowboy hat and suit. He definately looks like he is just having a nap to me. At that moment, I was unable to accept the fact that he has already gone to be with grandma because he does not look like it. It was crazy to have thoughts that if I tore the cover apart, he will open his syes and sit up right away. At that moment, my eyes felt like as if there's a strong gush of water forcing their way through my eyes as I tried to hold them back. Just like a dam trying to hold back a sudden strong current appearance of flowing river water.

The emotions just gushed over me everytime I looked at him and I keep having this thoughts that he is meant to be alive because he looks like he is in a good condition. I never thought I'd miss him so much. All the memories of the time spent with him during his days keep flashing back. I miss his singing, I miss his grumpiness, I miss how I was always unable to really communicate with him because I'm weak in my mother tounge.

Mentally, I'm glad that he is finally freed from the agony of being unable to walk and eat normal solid food and be happy but emotionally, I kept having the thoughts that he had a chance to live on and that I should not be seeing him in the coffin now.

It just happened too sudden and I will never say that it was a natural death. Don't ask me why. It's personal.

He died 11 days before his birthday. and I just realised there was no celebration for his 80th birthday which is like 2 years ago.

So many why and if appearing on my mind... because things were so different from the time during my grandma's death.

It was avoidable. It was the matter of choice. It was the matter of love. It was a matter of conscience.

All of you were very much a family to him but was he to you beasts?

Miss you much, grandpa.

I couldn't conceal my tears behind the cheeful masquerade

*emo*

Forsakengel.

Thursday, 22 January 2009

Kind of.. :p

As usual, Chinese New Year's after exam and it is also the time of the month where high school friends are back from all over the globe and hance, time for gathering!!! Wtf..

Anyway, a very short update..

1) Been about a month since I cut my hair real short.

2) Grandpa passed away on the 15th, just 11 days away before he could turn 82 years old.

That's all!!!

Hahaha.. until I have time again ^^

P/S: Catching Japanese Drama - Last Friends on YouTube.

Forsakengel.

Saturday, 10 January 2009



"Leave the SHITZ behind and venture into the unknown"

Forsakengel.

Tuesday, 6 January 2009


Happy New Year!!!!
yea, abit like 5 days belated. Lol!

anyway, as the title says.

Hiatus.

Exam starts on 8th and ends on 19th!

That means, I'll be away probably, mora than 11 days.

Lol.

Tata!

And all the best for my exam, ya!

Forsakengel.