Tuesday, 24 June 2008

Uncollected results were mass e-mailed to everyone in the Business School today. I got mine and I'm upset with the result I got. Although it is just like what I have predicted, expected, I'm still upset about it. About why I do not have such determination to stick to the plan and put in more effort to get better results.

Next term will be the beginnng of my last year in uni. Just one year more and I will be a graduate from Nottingham. Sounds grand but I really hope I had great determination to put in so much more extra effort into my final year. Talks have all it have been during the past 2 years. Talks. Like many other people. Determination to get better scores next academic year will be my only wish this year. Just determination. Let's make it come true..

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Had some conversations with uni friends over the phone today. Yea, results do remind and make us query about our friends condition when you have been seperated for about a month now. Some back to being closer to their families, some far away craving for more exposure and some still around the same environment. Stories of internship, travels and everyday life elsewhere.

Some seems to be loaded with piles of work but learning alot of things and gaining much experience in their internship while some are stuck in companies giving them clerical work. Less important tasks that has piled up at the corner of the office waiting for interns to clean up the mess. Most would be gven simple job like passing documents, photostating, labeling files and little tiny tiny works that need to be done here and there. I can't deny that they have mis-categorised their 'job post'. Interns are out to learn things regarding their respective fields while helping out in your company. That's why they are given salaries amount RM 500 to RM 1,000 depending on their job specification. You do not regard a short term clerk as an intern. Damn, that frust me up.

Not like it has anything to do with me anymore. I resigned from my intern on Monday so that can be at my father's office again. Yup. Just staying for 2 weeks and I am saying goodbye to it. Barely learn anything while at work. It is not an option. Just a one way street. I can't deny that I left my internship with a really heavy heart because I really wanted to stay there for 3 months. Really. I can see it all coming soon. Soon.. after two weeks, I will get to learn more about the company process. Learn the real thing about sales and marketing. Gah..

Talking about studying and working makes me think about the future again. How it is all blurry. I hate to deny the fact that I am one of those who are unsure of my future. What would my future pospect be after being a graduate? What route does my piece of certificate actually offer? It's all blurry and still is. I have no idea where to go and what to aim at. I'm just on the way to becoming a lost sheep, getting trap in the rat race.

Working life is not worse than studying. It is the process of knowing what you are aiming at, starting the plan and progess of getting what you want. It is not until you get to let go of a soothing deep breath that you can now settle down. Once you have settle down the world would seems so at peace for you. Nothing much really matter anymore.. Desires.. dreams.. it all seems so sweet when they come true. Makes you feel like you're in heaven..

Sometimes, it feels weird looking at how the world works. How most things are different. The effort that some people put into their work and the result of it. More effort doesn't necessarily means better results.. that's the way things work. Just weird..

Forsakengel.

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3 comments:

  1. bad result after studying hard means hopeless. but bad result bcaz of not putting enough effort meaning that u still have chance to improve. good theory? haha. all the best

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  2. -_____- i hope so..

    ReplyDelete
  3. greg greg greg greg greg can comment whT!

    ReplyDelete